Going through a breakup is one of the most hardest things to go through. You feel as if your world is ending and everything doesn’t make sense. It’s a hideous stage and something everyone goes through one time or another - I know I have had my fair share of heartaches and breaks. It builds you and makes you fiercer and teaches you such massive lessons in life.
“Moving on is easy. It's staying moved on that's trickier.” ― Katerina Stoykova Klemer
Here are a few stages of what everybody needs to get through, some take longer than others They say it takes half your relationship to get over it and move on, so if you have been with someone for a year, give it 6 months. They will sometimes still be in the back of your mind depending on the seriousness of it, but soon you will be a new, different person with a brand new positive outlook on life.
This is pretty much a few of the count downs in one. Unsure what to do with yourself, where to look, what to eat, can't sleep. Not up for anything…Sometimes you don’t even shed a tear - you are so unsure what to think.
It’s the big fat W. Why did this happen? What did I do? Will this work itself out? What will I do with my life now? Who might he/she be seeing now? When did it all go wrong? etc. The list is endless. It drives you mad, that even your friends are tired of explaining to you that you did NOTHING WRONG!
We all do a bit of digging and investigating, lets be honest we do! Its Facebook stalking time. Who have they added? Are they seeing someone? And it’s a whole lot of were they cheating? Your brain is working super overtime, at such a fast rate that if you put that amount of time into curing a disease or creating the next country, you would definitely accomplish it! Sometimes you are so desperate that you even end up calling but of course it ends in arguing, speaking into a voicemail or the number is no longer connected…The constant peeking at Facebook to see when the “YOU ARE SINGLE” Status appears. Because that is for real!
You really didn’t realize how glued you were to your phone. I mean you knew…but literally you’re just aching to text him…You know his timetable, what class he would be attending, when he’s with family. You are checking compulsively for someone to be contacting you, and it turns out that the ratio of your messages from him vs. ANYONE who isn’t him was approximately 500. The usual “goodnight baby, I love you” text every night, that it turns out, you literally can’t sleep without. Omg, is your phone vibrating??? Ugh. Mum…again.
5. DOUBT/SELF LOATHING
You vow that you will never even look at another boy/girl again. You start getting super harsh and hard on yourself that you wont ever find anyone.
This reflects a bit in confusion. You don’t want to talk to anyone - even your friends at times as you start pissing them off with all the talk about what happened. You give up going out clubbing and things that made you happy, you no longer want to do.
During the first stage of a break-up, you cry - a lot. A whole fucking lot. You’re going to do pretty much nothing but lay in the middle of your bed and cry, while your roommates are trying to watch E! News.
8. DRUNK TEXTING
Never goes down well…. And when you don’t hear back or something negative happens, it either goes back to crying and going home or…You end the night with a (possible ill-advised) rebound hook-up.
9. THE EVERYTHING IS OK STAGE
Trying to forget and Letting them know you are fine. You’ve moved on and are having a ball……but really you are at home watching the notebook…… crying.
Tired of the state you have been in, emotionally and physically you don’t really know who you are anymore. So you start realising what amazing friends and family you have, who you have been pushing away and think its time to make a change and get out of this hole because he/she just isn’t worth it anymore!
11. EXERCISE/ REALIZING THEY'RE LESS ATTRACTIVE
And then, one day, you wake up and realize you're totally going to be OK. You run, you run your ass off, start taking up a new hobby. Things they used to put you down for or think you wouldn’t do, you start doing. You want them to see you, looking good and moving on.
This just happens one morning totally out of the blue when you wake up. You feel happier but know that its worked out for the best. The last few weeks or months have opened fantastic new doors and made you explore things yourself and not through someone else’s eyes.
13. MOVING ON
When you finally see that bright, shiny light in a new direction, you get that exciting butterfly feeling for some new hunk or doll. You look back to stage 1 and think, why did I ever cry and think my life is ending when really it is just beginning!
Go on – go for it – you are stronger than you ever thought!
“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
― Shannon L. Alder
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